Lord Of The Bitcoins

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51% Blockchain Hijacks Galore!

What the bloodclot BitcoinEXpress? You are mounting a 51% hacking hijacking attack on NameCoin – really? Now SolidCoin is shutting down the blockchain for couple weeks to try and fix this exploit hole.  Apparently all these crazy cryptocoin systems are frankensteined forks of the BitCoin protocol.

You’re wondering, is BitCoin susceptible to a 51% chain attack? Hells yes it is! Why am I the only one worried about this? Oh, I know, the BitCoin P2P ‘world’ is too big for any single miner to gain 51% of the hashpower. Oops, maybe somebody should tell Tycho that.

Don’t get me wrong, we love DeepBit at Mr.Bitcoin (seems to just be lucky sometimes) but an achilles heel scares the shit out of me – almost as much as the
black hole at the center of our galaxy

Clearly the black hole must be stopped, just like that pesky ‘hole’ in the BitCoin protocol should be plugged!

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BTC ‘Euro’ Sticker is Available!

The BTC euro style sticker is finally here! As you can see they are perfect in every way. Even the usual oval ring has been replaced by the word ‘Bitcoin’ in binary!

Nope it doesn’t get much better than this. Each sticker is printed on quality vinyl that will make your car, computer, house, dog, girlfriend, husband, cubicle, or whatever you want to stick it on look 100% better!

Plus you’ll be letting the world know how much you love Bitcoins. Order one or 10 today!
U.S. orders:  1 sticker is 0.4 Btc. Multiple stickers to the same address in the same order  are an additional 0.2 Btc each (for example ordering 10 stickers = 0.4+ 9 x 0.2 = 2.2 Btc.)

Non U.S. orders: 1 sticker is 1 Btc. Multiple stickers to the same address in the same order  are 0.2 Btc. each. (for example 10 stickers = 1.0 + 9 x 0.2 = 2.8 Btc.)

No shipping charge, no tax, nothing silly, just sweet stickers. Ordering is super simple. Just follow these 2 steps:

1. Send your payment to Mr.Bitcoin: 17nYfPSvX7XSDqwSsHzYuhi3CiFSVg99ty
2. Email Mr.Bitcoin your name, address to ship the stickers to, number of stickers you ordered, and the wallet address you sent payment from. Use the subject “Sticker Purchase” so it doesn’t get caught as spam.
Email is: mrbitcoin.com (at) gmail.com

Thanks, I can’t wait to see your sticker somewhere fantastic! Send a picture of where you stick it and we’ll post the best ones.

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News Flash: Letter B is Not Symmetrical Enough – Replaced by Letter O

– Available for immediate release –

The X-Prize to find a perfectly symmetrical B has been won by Mr.Bitcoin. His B is the uppercase o.

The most symmetrical is officially: O

The O beat out the following close contenders:


Some clear losers were:


Of course the whole reason for the contest, B coming out of the closet. Some may recall Mayor Bee from family Guy: http://youtu.be/5hq-G_ZcP-A

Mayor Bee outs all other Bs as gay

Turns out not just Mayor Bee was gay, but ALL Bs in the visible universe are gay! While there’s nothing wrong with people or even dogs being gay, letters can not be gay.

Scientists are now trying to build a quantum telescope to peer beyond the 13.75 billion lightyears to determine if there exist any non-gay Bs in the entire universe. Then they will work on other universes, probably next year.

Mr. Bitcoin, when approached for an interview was too busy running down the street screaming “Bitcoins, Bitcoins, BIIIIITCOIIIIINS!” with a giant bag of Bitcoins and appeared to have bitcoins for eyeballs, though they were horribly Photoshopped into his dome-space. Though we attribute that last strung out Bitcoins to the Doppler Effect – we’re pretty sure he just said Bitcoins but was running away so very fast it sounded like a new word.

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Why I’m starting a Bitcoin store and why you should cram

Yes, you can cram, or you can start a Bitcoin-only store too. Maybe I misjudged you and you are cool/rad. Can’t tell yet, I’m too busy Grizzlin’ on my Bit.

If Bitcoins are going to be taken seriously as a currency, they need to be usable. Also, they need to have a value that isn’t just a reflection of USD value according to the latest exchange rate. So what I, Mr. Bitcoin, and you, John Q. Bitcoin, should do, is open some stores peddling some stuff that we make ourselves, and can ourselves assign a value.


What you say? You have to make something, then do something else?

Get a hold of yourself dammit, *slap!* you are a Bitcoin visionary. You are the future. Do not forget it. The reason the stores we make should be things that we make ourselves is so that we’re less tied to products, overheads, and markups, which would have to be calculated in terms of what we’d be paying to our suppliers in old, fat, US bills.

So, start thinking about what you can do for your Bitcoin, OR CRAM IT.

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Economic Alignment

OMB! (it stands for Oh My Bitcoin, you jabbernowl)

My mining cluster started making funny noises…

The noises turned into pitches and they were in harmony

They actually started playing a song…

The song was Europe’s “The Final Countdown”

When the song ended, my KVM switch went Kookoo for Cocoa Puffs

When it finally settled down, Firefox brought up Bitcoinwatch.com

I took a screenshot:

Yes my friends, I have seen the future—heralded by my mining cluster and an epic 80′s song.

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History Lesson

"BITCOINS!!!" -George Washington

My last post was a Math lesson. Not this time. Take a seat children, the professor is going to teach y’all a little something about HISTORY.

Bitcoins have been around for centuries, since this great country was freed from the original terrorists (Read: the Brits). I believe it was Patrick Henry who famously said “Give me Bitcoins, or give me death”. Well said Patrick.

Bitcoins have been around for longer than that, even. It’s now common knowledge that the Egyption Sun God Ra was really just a giant bitcoin.

"Holy shit turn around there's a giant bitcoin behind you!" -Egyptian

Believe it or not, bitcoins have been around FOREVER. Why are people just starting to hear about them then? Hmm let me answer that with another question: Did you know that my dog is super ticklish? Oh you didn’t? Huh, I guess some people have heard of things that are awesome and some people haven’t. Same thing with bitcoins. Case closed.

I can almost hear you blubbering at your monitor, “But but but professor, Satoshi Nakamoto invented the concept a couple years ago, it’s clearly written out in his white paper.”

WRONG. Satoshi merely stumbled upon a bitcoin he found while playing Australian rules football. He soon realized that bitcoins are EVERYWHERE and just waiting to be found. Bitcoins were created along with the universe, so really, bitcoins are a part of all of us.


For more proof of the existence of bitcoins throughout history, look no further than notable quotes from notable people:

“A bitcoin gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” -Sir Winston Churchill

A little bitcoin mining is a dangerous thing.” -Alexander Pope

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the mineshaft.” -Harry S. Truman

A picture is worth a thousand bitcoins.” -Fred R. Barnard

Bitcoins corrupt. Absolute bitcoins corrupts absolutely.” -Lord Acton

Keep your friends close and your bitcoins closer.” -Sun Tzu

“A bitcoin divided against itself cannot stand.” -Abraham Lincoln

Mr. Bitcoin, tear down this wall!” – Ronald Reagan 

You gotta fight for your right to mine bitcoins” -The Beastie Boys


Now that that lesson is over, I want you to all take out your homework assignment from yesterday, the reading of “The Old Man and the Bitcoin”, by Ernest Hemingway.

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The Future of QR codes—Visually Foretold

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Secure and Encrypted, USB Bitcoin client and wallet (Mac)

OK, so the wallet will be encrypted in the next release of the bitcoin client…. Great, but what about now? How will I protect my precious coins right this second?

I’ll tell you how, if you use a mac that is.

It’s super easy to secure your bitcoin wallet and installation, on your drive or on a removable USB, when using Mac OSX. Below is a step by step walkthrough to make an encrypted, secure, removable USB bitcoin client and wallet.

Here’s how it’s done:

1) Install the Bitcoin app (or have it already installed) and run it to get all the chains, then close the app.
2) Format a USB Drive and name it something other than Bitcoin to keep things from being complicated. Doesn’t matter, you soon won’t need to reference it.
3) From Disc Utility make a new image that is .2 gb smaller than the USB drive, encrypt it with a strong password. Call it WALLET.
4) Copy the Bitcoin Executable file to the WALLET image.
5) In your Users folder, go to the Library/Application Support/ and copy the Bitcoin folder to WALLET. Rename it to be TEMP.
6) Delete the Bitcoin folder from the Application Support.
7) Run this line in Terminal to create a symlink to the new location: ln -s /Volumes/WALLET ~/Library/Application\ Support/Bitcoin
***You should now see an alias in the Application Support folder called Bitcoins.
8) Run the Bitcoins Executable from the WALLET Image, it should create files in the root of the WALLET image. Once it starts up and creates those files, just close the app.
9) Go back to the TEMP folder. Move all items to the root of the WALLET image, and overwrite the files the Bitcoins app just recently made. Delete the TEMP folder.
10) Run Bitcoin executable. It should now be self contained on the drive, and should have all the blocks.
11) Copy these instructions to a text document, and place in the WALLET image. This will come in handy if you need to reconnect your wallet to a different computer if need be.

That’s it! When you’re done and want to lock up your schnitzel; close the app, eject the image, then eject the drive. (Note: you may have to unmount the image via disk utility)

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Question for all you builders—

6950 DeliveryThis image was taken just hours ago, outside of the Mr.Bitcoin Washington DC. Headquarters.

Like our sweet delivery truck?  We need it, we buy Radeons by the truckload…

So, here’s my question: what do you get when you throw all of this into a blender and hit “fabricate”?

-32 feet of extruded aluminum bar

-40 feet of extruded aluminum angle

-8 feet of brass tubing

-8 feet of copper tubing

-16 square feet of aluminum sheet

-1 Gigabyte Motherboard with 6 PCI 2.0 slots

-4 Gigs Ram, 1 CPU, and 1 HD

-6 (truckloads) 6950 Radeon GPUs

-6 16x PCI 2.0 extension cables

-2 750W PSUs

-4 120mm fans

-2 140mm fans

-1 200mm fan

-1 Fan Controller

-And a messload of screws, bolts, glue, and wire?


Stay tuned young one.

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